
While potty independence is a very exciting time for parents, it is important that we do not rush children into the process. Learning to use the potty is like learning any other new skill; it takes a lot of patience, practice, and positive encouragement. Below, you will find helpful hints and tips to prepare your child for potty success.
Reasons why your child may not be showing interest in using the potty:
· Your child may not be neurologically and cognitively mature enough to use the potty on their own. On average a child reaches these mature stages between 2 and 2.5.
· Your child may not completely understand what the potty is for
· Your child is more interested in playing and doesn't want to take time away from toys to go potty. In their mind it's more fun to continue to play so a diaper is very convenient to them.
· Your child may not have the gross/fine motor skills to use the potty correctly.
· Your child may be scared of the potty. An adult potty is very scary to them. All they see is a big bowl for them to fall into.
Myths about potty training:
1. Myth: We can train a child to use the potty hence the term "potty training"
Revised belief: Potty education is the child's opportunity to learn and grow. Our job is to look for signs of readiness, and then set the child up for success, but we cannot make a child use the toilet any more than we can make a child walk, talk or climb to the top of the slide. Like any skill, a child has to learn, and it is our job to teach them. Simply sitting a child on the toilet and expecting them to go will not work (for most children).
2. Myth: Child-oriented potty training will result in rebellious behavior
Revised belief: Allowing a child to determine when they are ready to use the potty has no correlation to behavior issues. In a study that was conducted by researchers from the University Of Pennsylvania School Of Medicine and Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, children who refused to use the potty did not have more behavior problems than children who were toilet trained. Rather than being correlated to rebellious behavior, child-oriented potty training has been associated with successful toileting outcomes.
3. Myth: Pressuring your child to use the potty by shaming them will increase the process because they don't want to be embarrassed.
Revised belief: Avoid shaming and humiliation. Early childhood is characterized by a search for independence that must be balanced by a developing sense of shame and doubt. Embarrassment combined with parental disapproval increases a child's sense of doubt and shame. Shaming and humiliation may serve to compound potential medical problems with a loss of self-esteem.
Tips and signs for potty readiness:
· Can your child tell you what the potty is for?
· Does your child have the motor skills (fine/gross) to get themselves on and off of the toilet? Is he/she able to dress themselves?
· Do they have the ability to stay dry for at least two hours while in a diaper?
· Does your child show an interest in modeling and pleasing you?
· Give them a potty as a gift for birthday, Christmas, or any special occasion. If your family celebrates Christmas and participates in "Santa", it is a good idea to give the potty as a gift from Santa.
· Children learn best through inquiry and being the "teacher". If your child has the opportunity to teach about the potty, they are more willing to use it. Potty training dolls are available if willing to purchase one.
IMPORTANT: your child does not need to possess all of these signs in order to be ready for the potty. Above are a few guidelines to follow to recognize readiness.
Key concepts to remember:
· Always stay consistent during the potty training process.
· Make sure the parents and teachers are on the same page. The child should be experiencing the same training at home and at school.
· You cannot make your child use the potty because it is a learned skill. It is our responsibility to teach them how to use the potty. Setting a child up for success is essential to learning the potty. You can set your child up for success by recognizing signs of readiness.
· Use words of encouragement as opposed to fanfare.
American Academy of Pediatrics. (1989). Toilet Training: A parent's guide: Elk Grove age village, IL; American Academy of Pediatrics